When Doubt Builds Bridges Instead of Walls

What happens when a poet, a rabbi and an imam walk into a room - not to debate, but to listen?

I got to experience that recently, as part of a program at NYU. It was their annual Fritz Weitzman Owens Memorial Lecture, where I got to hang out with longtime friends and ask them some soul-searching questions.

I knew that they would be dropping gems like , so I asked my producers if we could maybe record the conversation and publish it as an episode of Wisdom and Practice. They liked the idea, and so did the kind people at NYU’s Center for Global Spiritual Life, who helped with the tech and the permissions.

The three people in conversation really are friends of mine. I’m not just saying that to sound interfaithy. Kaitlin Curtice, who’s Potawatomi and has a beautiful new book coming out and a great substack (click here to follow). Sheikh Faiyaz Jaffer who is a chaplain at NYU and recently appointed Executive Director for its Islamic Center. And Rabbi Joshu Stanton, who first came into my life as an editor and writing friend, and somehow later morphed into a fellow dad and running buddy.

I knew that I could have taken it easy and asked them easy questions about the work that they do, and I have no doubt that they would have sounded brilliant saying the same things they have millions of times before. But I had some burning questions that I wanted answers to, especially given how hard our world feels right now.

So I shot my shot, and I asked them, and I got some incredible, enriching insights.

I’m sharing those with you here today, in an episode that we’re calling “When Doubt Builds Bridges Instead of Walls.” I’m also sharing an excerpt below from the introduction to our program, where Melissa Carter, Senior Director for Global Spiritual Life shared a poignant reflection about faith and doubt.

Melissa Carter:
Our discussion tonight promises to be a space for illumination, transparency, and vulnerability. As I was preparing for tonight, I kept reflecting on a time when doubt pulled me closer to my Jewish faith. Right now, our society is doing all it can to pull us away from a just world away from being in community with each other, away from the harmony we hold within ourselves.

I've been reflecting on how my own personal journey with doubt has expanded my capacity to engage with uncertainty. I'm gonna share a personal story. I remember being in my fourth round of IVF when news reports about IVF coming under attack began circulating.

I was on the verge of giving up my dream of becoming a mother, terrified that if I stopped, it would be the greatest regret of my life. This fear combined with the uncertainty of whether I would continue to have access to these treatments, left me feeling deeply stuck, so stuck that all I could do was draw closer to God, praying, engaging in ritual, listening, meditating, and stretching my courage to align with God's vision for me.

The darkness of doubt led me to the delight of the divine. Two more rounds of IVF later, my doubts drew me closer to God than ever, and that closeness sustained me through my realized pregnancy and continues to do so even now. As my 2-year-old son, the love of my life is at home waiting for me.

Click here to listen to the full episode on Wisdom and Practice!