The Revolutionary Act of Kindness

With Palestinian American Poet, Naomi Shihab Nye

This week, I had the honor of speaking with one of the most prominent poets of our generation, Naomi Shihab Nye. Born to a Palestinian Father and an American mother, Naomi's life has been a delicate balance between the two cultures, shaping her voice and perspective. A journey which led her to publishing and contributing to over 30 volumes of poetry.

In our conversation, we discuss poetry as a channel for the human experience, the role art can play in exploring tragedy, and the significance of kindness and connection in a fragmented world.

I wrote about Naomi’s impact on my life a couple of years ago, which I’ll offer again here. I’ll also paste an excerpt of our conversation below. Click here to listen to the full episode on Wisdom & Practice, and please rate and follow the show if you’re willing :)

When I was in college and had dreams of becoming a writer, I reached out to one of my favorite poets, Palestinian American Naomi Shihab Nye. “I believe we live in the same town,” I told her. “ Would you be willing to have coffee with me?” I was elated when said yes, and I was even more thrilled when we sat together. I thought she might say the road is too hard, or too risky, or too unpredictable. Instead, she told me I should do it. And that was just the push I needed.

This past month, I was back in San Antonio for a book event on peacemaking and storytelling. And guess who one of the fellow speakers was? Naomi Shihab Nye. I approached her during one of the breaks, not expecting her to remember me. I told her how generous she was with her time, how she encouraged me all those years ago, and how much it meant to me. It was my first chance to thank her for helping me realize a dream.

As we spoke, I came to realize that both of these moments — now, as well as decades ago — meant far more to me than they did to her. She vaguely recalled our meeting all those years ago, and even now, she was generally gracious in receiving my gratitude. But in both cases, I was far more affected than she was.

Here’s the thing about moments like these. I’ve been on both sides of this generosity, giving and receiving. We all have. I remember forever the schoolteachers who helped shaped me. But I’m not quite sure they remember me. And as much as I personally get out of teaching, it’s also true that my students remember me better than I remember them.

It makes sense when we think about it. We remember and appreciate those who help us in our journeys. We wouldn’t be where we are without them. And so often, it’s just from the goodness of someone’s heart, as I experienced with Naomi.

What we don’t think about often enough is how we are each also on the giving side of these relationships, in part because we are less affected personally, and in part because we don’t know how our actions impact other peoples’ lives. But in reflecting on experiences like these, it’s clear that we make imprints on one another without ever knowing it.

There’s immense power in our daily influence, but the risk is that it can go either way. What can we do to ensure that we channel it for positivity rather than negativity?

As I sit here today, reflecting on my gratitude for people like Naomi who have given me so much, I’m also now reflecting on the possibility that I may do the same for others. And the more I think about it, the more excited I feel about giving. I hope you might feel the same way too.

Simran Jeet Singh: It strikes me that you are someone who is in a position to use poetry as a personal tool and as a spiritual tool in the way you've described. And also, given your station as one of the most prominent poets of our time, it sounds like you also have a social utility, meaning you recognize that by writing about the things you care about, you can bring attention to issues and maybe help people feel or understand the messages that you want to share with them.

And I wonder how you think about this for yourself– is there a line you draw between this is something I want to do for myself versus this is something I want to do for other people? Or is it both at the same time?

Naomi Shihab-Nye: It would be impossible to draw a line, but I have to put out there that never once for one second in my life have I suffered the delusion of being prominent in any way. I never think of myself as prominent or well known or anything. I just feel like an invisible sidekick all of my life.

You know, Simran, even before I got out of college, I was working with kids for a summer writing camp. That's when I learned that I not only like to write, but I also like to talk about it, and that was a surprise to me. So, I've always been out there in the field, in schools and communities, in all kinds of venues, working with kids and adults, encouraging their own writing.

Every human is born with a poetry channel in your brain. I definitely believe this. And that channel allows us to remember, to savor, to carry an image, to be comforted by something we can only see in our minds. And I do feel it's my job to help people believe in that–in themselves. And so I could never separate those two things. And many people ask about if there are things you write in your notebooks that you would never share or never turn into a poem...Well, sure, of course there are. When you go on a rant, and you're furious about something, or you're so sad you just don't know how to carry on another minute...Yeah, those things I would probably not turn into something to share. But there might be a phrase or a line that would serve me somehow or somewhere that I would share.

So, I feel like my devotion to poetry has been both for myself as a writer to keep writing, to stay open, to look for what's there, to try to look beyond, below the surface, beyond the horizon, but it also has been to encourage other people, like they have the power. It's not some great special talent I have. It's not. It's a practice. And everyone has the power to develop a new practice.

Click here to listen to the full episode on Wisdom & Practice, and please rate and follow the show if you’re willing :)